Howdy y’all! I know it has been awhile since my last post. Work has been crazy busy. This week for Music Monday take a listen to “More Of You” by Colton Dixon. Recently some friends pointed out that they think I have commitment issues when it comes to dating and relationships. So they are right to a certain extent. They ask why and if I am lonely and don’t I want someone who loves me?
I was in a relationship from when I was 18 to 22 years old. That’s four years! Some people may think that was short and some may think that was a lifetime. After that I was helping my mom ,with finances and taking care of my sisters, for the next few years. I’ve dated, had another relationship for about a year and a half, but nothing long term. I don’t like feeling smothered. I’ll get to a certain point of getting to know a guy, but as soon as I start to feel some co-dependency. I’m out! Occasionally I like to play games…okay maybe every time I’ve find a way to deliberately make a guy start to back off. Such as, testing their patients by constantly ordering food they don’t like or smothering them more than they smother me. Once I learn what will make them run, I’ll make a plan, put it to action, and pull my wall back up.
In the song “More Of You” Dixion writes about castle walls that he lets down, so that he can let our Savoir in.
“All to You I surrender
all to You my blessed Savior
I surrender all.”
My answer to their questions: I am finally on my own, and finally have me time. My heart is full of love for God, with that I have found an incredible amount of fufilling strength in stillness, calmness, and composure.
“More of You Less of me
Make me who I’m meant to be
Take it all I surrender
Be my King
God I choose you”
Hearing these lyrics reminded me of 2 verses from the Bible the first:
“She is clothed in dignity and strength and
she laughs without fear of the future.” (Proverbs 31:25)
I have no worries of the future because I put all my faith in God. Yes, I plans and have an organized calendar, but sometimes things just don’t workout. That’s okay. I shouldn’t and don’t need to depend on anyone else except God to get me through anything.
The 2nd verse I just so happened to hear at church on Sunday. I love how everything eventually comes full circle.
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13)